Friday, February 1, 2008

The Bucket List

I've been thinking about the things I want to do before I die. Granted, I'm not dying anytime soon. The Word teaches that the Lord satisfies us with long life (Psalm 91:16), so I've got plenty of time to do all this.

You can't just let life happen to you. You've got to have some goals. Not just goals...plans. I heard it in a commercial and Pastor Joel said it, too.

You've got to know where you're going, how you're going to get there, and what you're going to do once you show up.

Therefore, I'm making a list of things I want to accomplish. I'm writing the vision down.

This is my bucket list. Here's what I want to do before I die, in no particular order:

1) I want to finish reading the long book I won in a drawing from a blog on the Houston Chronicle's Web site. The book is entitled, "A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion." I've affectionately renamed it, "A Stubbornly Persistent Book." I guess it's OK, but it's thick, with big words and confusing equations. I'm going to figure out how to get through it, somehow.

Plan to make this happen: Break this one up into small, three- or four-page sittings. No use trying to read a chapter or two at a time. Slow, steady work.

2) Appear in a film with both Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It doesn't have to be the same film, mind you. We can do two different movies if you'd prefer. And I'd like for Tony Scott to say I did well in the review (only if it's true, of course).

Plan to make this happen: I'm going to show up in L.A. one day and put in an application or whatever you do to get cast in a motion picture. I usually do well in job interviews so there shouldn't be a problem.

3) I'd like to stand on the platform at Lakewood Church and address those nice people. It can be on a Wednesday night if y'all prefer. Give Dr. Paul or Lisa the night off one evening, and get ready for fun and excitement (and the Word, of course). Pastor Osteen, we can grab dinner ahead of time. Go ahead and bring your bodyguard, too. He seems like a nice fellow with a great sense of humor.

Plan to make this happen: I may just show up at the church office someday and ask if I can be put on the schedule.

4) Visit Dominion Church in League City, Texas, and have lunch with the pastor. No bodyguards at that meal, please.

Plan to make this happen: Visiting churches doesn't take much planning. I just have to show up. The lunch might be a little more difficult. You'd be surprised at how tricky these things can be. Why's he going to lunch with pastor? I've never been to lunch with pastor, and I've passed the plate here or greeted guests at the door for three years! Wait, I teach a Sunday school class here and I haven't been to lunch with the pastor. That kind of thing.

I'm just playing, Dominion people! This is yet another great group of believers so I'm probably overstating any potential problem.

5) Have dinner with the Barlow girls and their parents, or just have a cup of coffee with them all on their bus. I want to see what the inside of their bus looks like. I hear it smells like cookies and vanilla spray. I have a huge crush on Alyssa but please don't tell her that.

Plan to make this happen: There are very stringent rules in place to keep scary stalker people away from born-again rock stars. Unfortunately, those kinds of rules sometimes hinder the noble plans of extremely nice, well-grounded people like myself. I actually have no idea how to make this happen. I won't stop believing for it, though.

6) Get the readership of my blog over 15 people.

Plan to make this happen: It's tougher than you think when you have as little to say as I do. Maybe I'll get blessed and someone will feature it in a publication or high-traffic Web site. I may have peaked at six or seven readers. I guess when I show God I'm ready for a bigger audience he'll give it to me. Like David, my times truly are in his hands.

7) Have a cup of coffee with my friend Rebecca St. James. Granted, I flew out to Nashville twice thinking this would happen and it never did, so this one might be a pipe dream.

Plan to make this happen: I had actually hoped that we would work on the same feature film together, but the script never came in the mail. Maybe she picked it up at Sundance. Possibly a sequel to the one about UFOs flying around small Texas towns taking rear license plates off of cars?

Having coffee with your friends is usually pretty simple to set up so no worries. I once had an idea for a nationally syndicated radio program featuring Rebecca and myself called "Joy Cometh in the Morning Show." Since I had no live radio experience (and haven't even had as much as a cup of coffee with Rebecca), I thought it would be hard to pitch it to anyone with a straight face.

8) Write a book (and have it published). I received a couple prophetic words years ago that this would occur in my lifetime, and I now firmly believe that was the word of the Lord. "Your written words will set people free around the globe..." Wow. I'm ready for all that. Helping that many people would be an honor.

Plan to make this happen: One keystroke at a time.

9) Take the Princess to Galveston, Texas, and onto the jetty that juts out into the sea...the one right there at the Landry's/Hilton hotel on Seawall. Maybe she likes seafood? Gulf seafood is pretty good. We'll grab some chow while we're there.

Plan to make this happen: All we have to do is go south on I-45. It runs right into the island.

10) I want to attend a serious debate between a well-published, well-credentialed creationist and a well-published, well-credentialed evolutionist. I've read that people who question evolution as a scientific fact are either ignoring evidence or are idiots, but I'd like to make that decision on my own, thank you very much. Please let me know if you hear of such of a debate.

Plan to make this happen: Find out where it is being held, and arrive in my car.

This is just a list of 10 things I came up with off the top of my head. These are some of my smaller goals. I'll keep the really big ones secret for now.

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