Sunday, August 24, 2008

The L.A. Public Library is persecuting Ted again

Ted believes he is Jesus Christ, and he is currently headquartered out of a branch of the Los Angeles Public Library.

According to Ted, Satan and the demons have convinced workers in the library to cut off his wi-fi connection, making it difficult for him to post videos on YouTube. As you can see in the video, he's pretty worked up about it.

Now we discover that spies are following him around, while local and state government, the FBI and Homeland Security have hacked into his computer. This is only the beginning. It turns out the secret Roman empire and the World War II alignment are giving him fits as well.

Ted presents a problem for me (beyond my temporary loss of faith in the L.A. Public Library System).

How do we, as born-again people, convince Ted he needs Jesus when he is convinced he is Jesus?

Ted's latest video, in which he asserts his full diplomatic immunity, has given me the strange suspicion that it is truly time for us to make a concerted effort to pray for him.

Will you join me today? Whatever you are doing today, just take a moment to ask God to bless Ted. Ask God to open his eyes to spiritual truth. While we wait on God to do this, make sure you enjoy his videos. They are something else.

I especially like the one where he explains how his "squeeky chair" (sic) is one way God and the heavenly hosts will punish mankind for thousands of years.

Or how about the one where he discusses how the mafia and the secret Roman empire sent gangs to attack and vandalize the library, specifically with the intent to target Ted, causing him to risk his own safety to make a citizen's arrest?

Classic!

A note to the L.A. Public Library System: Please go ahead and let him have a connection to the Internet. Remember, Ted is head of state. Ted is the "King of all places."

Considering this, why is he having such problems at your library?

No matter how unusual it may seem at the check-out counter when he asks for Internet access insistently, know there are people out here in the cosmos watching and hoping for the very best.

I look forward to getting out there again someday soon, Los Angeles.

To those of us who follow the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I guess Ted is more encouragement that we should look up and be watchful, for our redemption draws near.

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