Monday, December 28, 2009

Where am I celebrating New Year's Eve? Where am I most likely to get a kiss?

New Year's is rapidly approaching. This is an evening that people frequently go out to enjoy an evening on the town. I'll be in Houston, Texas, for this New Year's Eve, and I've spent considerable time thinking about where I want to be at midnight.

You see, I want to plant my lips right on a pretty girl, at the stroke of midnight. Will you kiss me? You don't have to marry me. Or even date me. But can I have a kiss?

What I discussed in my last blog post is truth. And, the more I think about that, the more I think it's time to break this long stretch of the lack of physical contact. I want you to kiss me. Really.

Someone certainly wouldn't mind kissing me, right? That's a tradition at midnight on New Year's. Again, I won't have a ring with me, and you're not committing to anything beyond a kiss. And either am I, for that matter. But a kiss would be awesome, huh?

Any female is eligible. Well, as long as you don't have a husband, or something like that. Think about it. One mindless awesome kiss right at midnight with no strings attached? Yes!? And if you'd like, I'll feature you here on the blog in the coming days...or we can keep it a secret!

If you see me out somewhere, just be near me as midnight approaches. Make eye contact. I'll get the message.

So, where am I spending New Year's Eve? I wonder, where am I most likely to get a kiss? I'll have to think about this. :)

Kiss or no kiss, Happy New Year to all my readers! Thanks for keeping up with my blog.

Monday, December 21, 2009

How the Tiger Woods situation has me worried about my own philandering

My goodness, Tiger Woods has really done it this time. He's really messed it up for me and every other philandering man out there.

It sucks, not being able to cheat on the wife or girlfriend I don't have. For example, I walked out of a club the other night, full of hotties, alone and even without a phone number. And frankly, at times I didn't feel like I had to. You might call that striking out. I call it being faithful to a woman I'm not even married to yet. Whoever that may be.

As I sat in the automobile, ready to drive home and masturbate again, I thought to myself, "John, you're it. You might even be the "it" everyone has been talking about in those articles about Tiger Woods. And you haven't even kissed a girl in years? You call this representing the cheating men all over the world? What an embarrassment. You're a complete failure at philandering."

The problem is, every time I read an article or blog post about Tiger Woods, I get a strange feeling inside. Why is that? I'm sure I'm reading something into the text that isn't there, right?

Am I being overly sensitive? Can a sensible (or honest) writer really draw parallels between a married man seeing numerous women behind his wife's back for an extended period of time, and a single guy who hasn't been on a serious date or even kissed a woman in almost a decade?

You're right, that's completely ridiculous. I'm sure I'm being overly sensitive.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to post this and go jerk off again while I fantasize about one of the many woman I'm not cheating on my wife with.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Exclusive video of me being thrown against a car by a military police officer!

Here is a video I recently digitized from my time in the Marine Corps. Sometime during my stint at Marine Corps Logistics Base, Barstow, Ca., in the early 90s, I began playing industrial/alternative dance tracks at the E-Club.

That's the Enlisted Club, for those of you not familiar with military stuff. This is a video I played occasionally.

The bed jumping took place, if I remember correctly, in a motel room in Santa Monica, California. The underwear dance, as we learned to call it, occurred in the barracks in Barstow.

Many thanks, of course, to the late great Stanley Kubrick for 2001.

And thanks to Uriel, The Cosmic Generator, for being so unique as you float through space, blinking and displaying an assortment of lovely colors.

A special thanks to the Marine Corps Logistics Base military police, for their help in educating everyone in the absolute importance of having a designated driver when necessary.

The four-star you see briefly is Gen. Carl Mundy, Jr., the Commandant of the Marine Corps, during a visit to MCLB, Barstow.

Semper Fi, Devil Dogs.