Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Larry King, although breathing, speaking and able to walk, has apparently lost brain function

Well, I've heard reports that many seniors see a quick decrease in motor function and brain activity shortly after retirement, and that certainly seems to be the case with grumpy CNN fossil Larry King.

Based on a comment he made tonight during an interview with John King on the extraordinary life of Elizabeth Taylor, he cost CNN an extra $1,000,000 on any future interview with me. This brings CNN's total for any live or taped interview to $6,000,000.

CNN can afford it. And I'm going to get it, assholes.

Here's a tip: I wouldn't put that fart back on the air before you sit down with me, because I'm pissed off and I promise I'll have a fucking calculator in my hand the next time that goofball talks shit.

You'd be best served as a network if he doesn't ever look into a camera again.

I won't say "goodbye," Larry. I'll just say, "so long."

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